I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
