it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
