he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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