About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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