Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
