my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
