I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
