We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Pants are for mortals
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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