nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
