idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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