I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
