She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
