I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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