im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
