Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
