Farmville is her only friend.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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