I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
