Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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