Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
