I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
