party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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