OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
