I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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