i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
