I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
