idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
