Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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