these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In other news, I just burned my penis
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
