my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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