GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
