I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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