he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
