I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
