you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
