Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
