The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
