I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
