no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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