my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
