He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
its liver damage thursday
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
