Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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