She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
