Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
