Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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