is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
