I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
