great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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