The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
