oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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