I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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