I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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