i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
