so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
The air taste purple.
Randomize
