And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
