you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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