Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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