chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
