Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
