My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
