carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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