if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize