so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
