Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Life is so much better after having sex.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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